Hello ladies!! Body pressure, diet culture, body positive, body image, there are so many topics out there surrounding our bodies. I chose this week to dive into this topic with my 16 y old lady in the making. As we sat in my office prepared to go live, I saw a lady, next in a generation, prepared to have a deep conversation about body pressure. Of course it made my heart smile, because we cannot create generational mental wealth without including the next generation.
The conversation got kicked off with the little booty/big booty controversy, lol! I asked “what is something that I have said to you that made you question your body or want to change it?” My daughter said that when I would tell her she couldn’t wear a fitted dress because of her butt, she thought “I wish I had a smaller butt.” This was so interesting, because I come from a family of hips and butts and I was always told that I couldn’t wear things smaller girls could wear because of my body type. The reason was I didn’t want the type of negative attention that came with being a big booty girl in a fitted dress, EVEN though, my not so well endowed counterparts could wear the same dress. Yep, these teachings were passed down to me and right down to the next generation. See how this works?!
I have found that the more conversations that I have with my daughters, the more I find out just how much has been passed down that I am passing down to them. I love having the insight, and, quite honestly, am usually proud of what’s been passed down. Now back to the big booty conversation! I asked her what were her thoughts about the “negative attention.” She shared that she didn’t like the attention and would rather wear something less fitting to avoid it. I felt that it was important to share with her that there are so many people out there who don’t like the attention, yet have taught themselves how to ignore and still move about this world, in their fitted dress, UNBOTHERED. This is for another topic, though.
We were able to come up with some tips for mothers and daughters out there, to initiate and carryout this conversation:
Communicate! Throughout my blog posts and Let’s Talk Tuesdays you will repeatedly hear me harp on the importance of communication with your ladies. Like I said, WE CANNOT CREATE GENERATIONAL MENTAL WEALTH IF WE DO NOT INCLUDE THE NEXT GENERATION!
Mothers be mindful of your body mindsets and do some self-reflection, of course you can use the self-reflection worksheet to do this. Ask your daughters what they see, because so many times we are blinded by our own negative thoughts about our image that we can’t see destructive habits.
Teach self-love! I have read and listened to so many podcasts that say the desire to change your body means that you don’t love it. Listen, ladies, this is not true! You can do both at the very same time. BE nice to your body, speak nice things about it, and give it respect. We get one body and it deserves to be loved! :-)